Bullying

Bullying in the workplace is so common and accepted that women don't stand a chance. I remember a company accountant years ago who literally screamed at me and any other young woman he thought was vulnerable every time he came to the office to do an audit. And no one, owner, manager, supervisor, did anything to stop him. He was a tyrant and he knew he could act out in this particular office. Today I would report him to the CA association but even now, I doubt they would do anything about it. Incidentally, these men would abuse any girl except management's secretaries. It was understood that they belonged to their boss and had some protection from other men--not from her boss.

There was also the common attitude that women should be grateful for the job. We were, after all, just women, of the lower order, and quite disposable. So we owed the employer, payment was due, probably in his office after he closed the door.

But, people who bully children bother me more than adults. No child should be afraid to go to school in this country and I think it's up to the adults in charge to take the responsibility to get to the source, which they are usually reluctant to do.

Thing is, all bullies are cowards. No bully would tackle anyone they thought had an atom more power than they had and they are very skilled at sniffing out the vulnerable. (Think of Ghomeshi). But something is not going well in the bully's life or he or she would not have the drive to abuse someone, perhaps thinking he can dump his problem on them and get rid of it. Of course, that will never happen.

We hear about the victim but the bully never gets exposed and goes free to do it again. If parents and principles took the initiative to track him down and try to find the source of his problem they would do more good than denying the responsibility, calling it  a right of passage, a tradition, normal, and running away themselves schools could look forward to being a safe place for kids.

It's a big problem, bigger than we are admitting, and it has been allowed to thrive and grow with each generation. One can only hope that 'this time' the earth will move and change will come.
She said.

Ghomeshi, et al.

Experts are puzzled? Go 'way! The UN declared this a pandemic a couple of years ago and it certainly wasn't news then. This is as old as our history. Almost every woman has had some kind of misogynistic experience, perhaps all if you include those who do not know what it is or, (and more likely), simply deny it out of fear of the aggressor.

It's as old as our history because experts, the 'officials,' the constabulary, the legal profession, all levels of government, are complicit by omission, by lying, denying, just doing nothing. They always have and still do--despite overwhelming evidence--turn their back probably because of the practice of men supporting other men when they are 'just having a little fun with the girls,' which is really just fear of reprisal. Or, they have a degree of this hostility themselves. How many times have you heard men speak of their wives or partners with contempt, then leerily grin? And we are all, men and women, expected to laugh heartily or frowned on, even threatened, if we don't. Someone, or several of his colleagues and bosses, must have known what Ghomeshi was doing all these years.

The likes of Ghomeshi may be an extreme case of abuse but the fundamentals are common. He uses bully tactics. He he has had a long time to find out how to sniff out the vulnerable, the women who have not had the punching experience, will be completely shocked and won't squeal on him. But, of course, we are all afraid of any violent man and the retaliation that will be even worse; we know enough about police dismissal and court-horror; and then there is the family, friends and community to deal with who might also question the validity of such accusations.
 
Ghomeshi's has a strategy to facilitate his psychosis, then he adds rock-star celebrity and every defenceless girl he meets is in danger. And, like all bullies, he is a coward. He would never approach a woman or girl who would fight back. So they don't tell and instead of trying to get his problem fixed (surely someone with his smarts must know he has one) he becomes more aggressively opportunistic until his history blows up and the first thing he does is lie and deny. 

With each gawdawful incident we hope those 'officials' will take the responsibility in their job description and make a start at cleaning up the untenable situation that all women live with every day from birth until death. Despite laws in this country and, we are told, institutions to enforce them, there is no safe place for any female: not in her home or an institution, on the street or in a store, on public transit or in a car, she is at risk..in Canada in the 21st Century.

We should not be shocked or surprised at what men do to women, but we should be adamant about change, probably best begun at the kitchen table.